Losing my baby brother at the age of 27 was the deepest pain I've ever had to endure.
Not far behind was the death of my dear sister in Christ to breast cancer two months to the day before my brother was killed.
My world and my faith were turned upside down.
Struggling with depression and questions that had no answers, I felt totally alone and abandoned by God. How could this God I'd grown to love and trust in the past several years allow such terrible tragedies to occur to two of the best and most loving people I knew in His creation?
I still don't know the answer to that question but one thing I do know in my heart is the truth of these words from Romans 8:28:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Against all logic and reason my faith has only continued to deepen in strength over the last 13 years.
Our family has continued to struggle with grief but we have also grown closer to each other than we ever would have otherwise.
I have learned that God is too big to ever fit in my (or anyone else's) carefully constructed box.
I don't want to make it sound like it was a quick and easy (or finished) process because it wasn't.
But in the deepest recesses of my heart and soul I know that out of the worst and most confusing situation in my life, my faith in God and my recognition of His unfathomable mystery has been the one thing that has sustained me.
Even though this world can be a dark and scary place, I now trust the One who made it. He alone can make all things new.
I will trust in Him and not be afraid.