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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Boundaries

"Barriers set relationships on a regressive course that leads to isolation.  Boundaries set relationships on a progressive course that leads to connection."
                                                        Lysa TerKeurst
                                                        Unglued (p. 85)

I can't remember a time in my life when I haven't struggled with boundaries.

I find it so hard to say the simple word "no" and to set limits on my behavior.

If I'm involved in a conversation, I don't want it to end.

If someone needs my help, I don't want to disappoint them.

If someone asks me for something, I don't want to to turn them away.

But painful lessons in reality have taught me that I can't be all things to all people - and I wasn't meant to be.  That's God's job.

When I try to give or be more than I am capable of I become depleted and defeated.  I shut myself off from others so I won't have to feel the disappointment of not meeting their expectations.  Walls of resentment become barriers and cut off healthy communication.

I am learning through God's grace that I cannot always be who others need me to be.  I will let others down and feel saddened by my weaknesses and limitations.  But ultimately these are only reminders that I am not God.  My job is to stay closely connected to Him through prayer and His Word so that I can discern the things I am truly called to do and leave the rest to Him through  faith.  My job begins with listening.

He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
                                                        Micah 6:8 (NIV)

5 comments:

  1. Wow you are describing me to a T! I too have a hard time saying NO and wanting to be there all the time as well! Love you blog...speaks right to my heart! Imprefect Progress one baby step at a Time!

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  2. Thanks for reading - so glad this spoke to you Lauren. Blessings!

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  3. Wow, Sandee, great job. I love your openness.

    Blessings,
    Catherine
    OBS Group Leader

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  4. Hi Sandee, I really enjoyed your blog post! You should post more often :) My pastor gave a sermon today on how to know what God's will for our lives is and I thought of you. A recording of the sermon can be found here: http://www.highrock.org/sermons/. It's called Direction. I don't agree with everything Pastor Dave said but he offers an interesting perspective.

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    1. Thanks Ran! I can't wait to listen to the sermon. George had me listen to one a couple of weeks ago and it was great. Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. :)

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