Waiting

Look to the Lord and his strength;  seek his face always.
                                                  Psalm 105:4

. . . the sheep hear his (Jesus) voice.  He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
                                                   John10:3

Listening for the voice of God who is Love helps us defeat our fears.
                                                   Karla Kincannon
                                                    Creativity and Divine Surprise


I love the "good" days.  Life seems lighter somehow and problems are put in their proper perspective in God's great scheme of things.

But then there are the "bad" days . . .
I feel weighed down by the unfathomable problems of the world and my own problems seem to expand exponentially.

All previous perspective has flown away to a place I can't find.

I try all the disciplines that have brought back peace and clarity in the past.

     Meditation and prayer

     God's Word

     Exercise

     Inspiring and encouraging books

     Music

     Gardening

     Sharing with someone close

     Service

     Gratitude

But some days (like yesterday!)  none of those things seem to help.  I feel frustrated and powerless that I can't seem to manage my thoughts and emotions.  Then I remember.  I am powerless in my own strength.

The first of the 12 steps in Celebrate Recovery reminds me that "we (are) powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives (have) become unmanageable."

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
                                                  Romans 7:18

I remember the second step - "We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

I have to let go, surrender and trust remembering that God loves and accepts me no matter where I am or what I do.  My task now is to wait upon the Lord.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
                                                  Isaiah 40:29-31

These words from Pope Francis in his book The Church of Mercy comfort and remind me that he always looks on me with love:

Let us also remember Peter: three times he denied Jesus, precisely when he should have been closest to him.  And when he hits rock bottom, he meets the gaze of Jesus who patiently, wordlessly says to him, "Peter, don't be afraid of your weakness, trust in me."  Peter understands, he feels the loving gaze of Jesus, and he weeps.  How beautiful is this gaze of Jesus - how much tenderness is there!  Brothers and sisters, let us never lose trust in the patience and mercy of God!